Free Fridays: The one with the turmeric.

I want to share with you a moment this week that humbled me to the ground. I have a friend who I’ve known for years. I won’t say her name because I want to protect her, but if you know, you know. She is so loved by Allah swt because her life is full of tests. She was at the peak of blogging, then she lost her first son at only a few days old. She was striving to get back up again, then she was struck with an illness that bound her to a wheelchair. She had a fashion brand that was thriving, then she found herself taking meetings with her team horizontally as she was bedridden. She got better over the years and we reconnected over a weekly Islamic class - I now see her every week and she’s always a glow of light to look at. It was nice to see her out and about, walking and laughing like normal again. Then suddenly one day, she didn’t come to class. She came back to class weeks later… but in a wheelchair. Her illness came back and she’s now unable to walk again. We all hugged her, kissed her, made doa for her. We felt so sad for her, and we know that despite her brave smile, she was carrying a lot in her heart. Imagine, test after test after test. And you have no answers, no clue why this is always happening to you. Yet she always shares with us in class that she knows it’s Allah swt wanting her to slow down and to give some time to Him instead. How beautiful is this heart of hers to be able to see the positive of everything. Through her, we can all witness IRL that phrase we see in the Quran – beautiful patience. Struck with calamity after calamity, and she still remains... patient. Smilingly patient. One day after class, I saw her husband picking her up from the wheelchair into the car. Husband is also a friend of ours, such a patient and kind man, may he too be rewarded with Paradise. Then she called me. “V, I have something for you,” she said from her wheelchair, as she reached into her bag. She handed me three bottles of orange liquid. “I know you have auto immune disease, so I made this for you. It’s a blend of turmeric, ginger, really good to help with inflammation.” I felt a lump in my throat. This woman was in a wheelchair. She’s in a wheelchair, guys. And while sick herself, wants to help others instead. She didn’t even buy these thoughtful things, she made them with her own hands…. and she can’t even stand. 😭 I was absolutely speechless. But more than that, absolutely embarrassed. What have I done for her? Besides the hugs and the “Are you ok?”s. What have I done to go out of my way for her? I’ve made nothing for her with my hands. I felt my cheeks going pink... And as if that wasn’t enough, she adds, “Oh I forgot! I also got you this protein ball – I know you’re trying to be healthy now,” and hands me a protein ball of dates, pistachio and other healthy ingredients. Of course you did. “I made this myself,” she adds. That’s it. I should crawl under the table now. I felt the size of the protein ball. Utterly ashamed of myself. I didn’t know what to say except a lame “thank you”. In the car, I clutched the bottles and protein ball she gave me and vowed to remember this lesson forever. She taught me a big lesson that day on kindness. No matter what state you’re in, kindness is always the option. She’s a living example of this verse I learned: “… donate in prosperity and adversity, control their anger, and pardon others. And Allah loves the good-doers.” (Surah Ali Imran, 3:134) I want to focus on that first line. Donate in prosperity and adversity. Spend and do good, in your good times and in your bad times. I never noticed this ayat before, or at least never really analysed it. Most of us humans only do good to others (donate, give charity, smile, give them homemade turmeric drinks!!) when life is good. It’s easy to do good when we’re feeling good. But when life is bad to us, we go into sad mode that we don’t have capacity to think of others. It’s “me, me, me” and “I need to heal”. I mean, when I was going through the peak of my test, I didn’t even want to leave the house! But evidently, that’s not what Islam teaches us. It’s plain and clear in the verse – whether you’re up or down, kindness is constant. My friend didn’t wait until life became easy again to be kind to others. She chose to think of others, right in the middle of her huge test. She worried about my autoimmune disease, when she herself couldn’t even move her limbs. That day, the one in the wheelchair was the one giving, and the one standing was the one being taught. Allah swt sends us teachers in ways we never expect. And maybe that’s why Allah swt loves her so much. ❤️ As for me, excuse me while I go buy some turmeric, ginger and a better personality. 😭 Let me know you’ve read this. Comment “don’t forget your protein ball” on my latest post at @sincerelyvivy. See you there! :)