☕️ HAPPENINGS ☙ Wednesday, April 29, 2026 ☙ C&C NEWS 🦠

Good morning, C&C family, it’s Wednesday! Hang on to your seats. We have the biggest good news roundup yet in six years of C&C history. It was too much to do in the normal C&C style; I couldn’t stand leaving any of these stories on the cutting room floor. Two federal indictments, fourteen thousand SNAP recipients in Maseratis, the petrodollar dying in less than a week, and a Google co-founder switching teams. And it’s only Wednesday. Welcome to the most-packed good-news roundup in C&C history. I told you so! Never doubt me! Behold: The Trump Administration has fully unleashed its Annus Operum— 2026, the Year of Action. It’s happening. There was so much goodness in this week’s news cycle that I had to toss my usual deep-dive into 3-5 stories overboard, and give you a quick-hits roundup instead. You won’t want to miss any of it. It’s the C&C Week in Review, as of just Wednesday. ⚖️ ⚖️ ⚖️ The Justice Department Gets Busy ⚖️ If you’ve ever tried to hide an embarrassing email confirming the purchase of a “male enhancement product” from your spouse, you are a rank amateur compared to Dr. David Morens. Morens, one of human cockroach Dr. Anthony Fauci’s former senior advisors, was indicted yesterday. Which means he’ll be arrested and processed. The New York Times reported, “Former Fauci Adviser Indicted on Covid-Related Charges.” CLIP: Fox News report on Morens indictment (1:57). A federal grand jury has indicted Morens, 78, for conspiring with others to conceal public records related to covid research grants. According to the Department of Justice, Morens used his personal Gmail account to dodge Freedom of Information Act requests and suppress the lab-leak theory. Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche stated that Morens and his pals “deliberately concealed information and falsified records in an effort to suppress alternative theories regarding the origins of COVID-19.” Not-yet indicted Co-Conspirator Number One is almost certainly British zoologist Peter Daszak and his shady NGO, EcoHealth Alliance. This paragraph in the DOJ’s press release basically screamed the names to high heaven: The press release described Co-Conspirator Number Two as “a physician, scientist and professor who worked for an academic institute that received federal grants.” Guess who that sounds like? UNC’s Ralph Baric. It’s possible Daszak and Baric are cooperating, or have already pleaded to something. If not, they’re desperately calling defense lawyers right now. It’s also worth noting that it’s very unusual for the DOJ to provide identifying details about unindicted co-conspirators in a press release like this. It’s happening! The federal government is finally holding the “covid experts” criminally accountable for defrauding the American public during a major public health emergency. For years, we were told to Trust The Science™, which apparently involved conducting official government business on a Gmail account so nobody could see what The Science™ was actually up to. Not to mention defrauding the government by finding dishonest ways to award multimillion-dollar grants to shady NGOs that had already been debarred so they could study illegal gain-of-function coronavirus bioweapons research. The indictment says Dr. Morens allegedly received pathetic kickbacks for his “efforts,” like bottles of wine delivered to his house and promises of meals at Michelin-starred restaurants. This is how Washington works: You suppress a global pandemic theory, illegally re-route huge grants to illegal recipients, and they buy you a nice Pinot Noir. Now he’s facing spending the rest of his life in federal prison in exchange for a below-average wine bottle. I’m sure everybody is also wondering about Fauci. Well, you already know his situation is complicated, since President Autopen gave him a blanket pardon. That’s an analysis for a different post, but at minimum, it proves they knew these prosecutions were coming. Tick, tock! ⚖️ In more terrific legal news, yesterday the DOJ also indicted former FBI Director James Comey. Again! It’s round two. And the second time is the charm, apparently. As with Morens, this means Comey will now finally be charged, arrested, and prosecuted. Last time, the DC grand jury refused to indict the former FBI Director for lying to Congress. This time, the grand jury did indict Comey for threatening the President. The New York Times reported, “DOJ Secures New James Comey Indictment Over Alleged Threat Against Trump.” CLIP: James Comey responds to new indictment; “this won’t be the end of it” (0:38). At a time when left-wing social media was routinely calling for Trump’s assassination using the same 4-character code, Comey posted a picture of seashells on social media arranged to spell “86 47”— delete Trump. The DOJ correctly argued this was a threat against the 47th President. Comey insists he meant something more … intellectual, like invoking the 25th Amendment or something. He isn’t sure what he meant, actually. Could have been anything. Democrats are carping that the DOJ will have to prove Comey’s intent beyond a reasonable doubt to get a conviction, and laughing about how hard it will be. But maybe it won’t be that hard after all. At this time he made his little shell art project, Comey was touring to promote his novel FDR Drive. Guess what it was about? FDR Drive is a boring, narcissistic ‘thriller’ about ‘stochastic terrorism’ involving a right-wing public figure using coded messaging to incite his followers to commit acts of violence against political enemies. Comey enthusiastically told an NPR interviewer that the book’s central themes were free speech and “what happens when someone’s words incite violence.” The protagonist, federal prosecutor Nora Carleton, investigates whether the podcaster can be held criminally accountable for violence committed by his followers. I am not making that up. The jury will find it very interesting how RussiaGate co-conspirator Comey was gassing away on national radio about how coded incitement operates, while simultaneously insisting he was just unable to recognize the coded incitement in his own Instagram feed. The fact that he quickly deleted the image after it started getting criticism speaks volumes. Why delete it at all, if it was perfectly innocent? Comey is a human weasel. Threatening the President is the least serious crime he’s probably guilty of. Comey is the one who should be 86’d— after a fair trial, of course. By 86’d, I only mean locked up in a Salvadoran Supermax prison for the rest of his life, of course. Or something like that. Meanwhile, early reports suggest that the FCC has launched a ‘review’ of Disney-owned ABC’s broadcast licenses, after Jimmy Kimmel cracked a joke about Melania Trump having the “glow of an expectant widow.” He said that on broadcast TV three days before the latest assassination attempt. I wonder what Comey’s fictitious prosecutor, Nora Carleton, would think about that. According to NPR, the FCC has now required Disney to file early license renewal applications that weren’t due until between 2028 to 2031 (depending on the station). Message delivered. The gloves are off. Pam Bondi’s era —which paved the way by restructuring the DOJ and navigating the Epstein disclosures— is over. We’re in the Blanche era now. The Administration is not playing games. If you use coastal mollusks to send coded messages, or if you use late-night television to make morbid jokes about the First Family, stuff is going to happen. Finally, I am a lawyer, not a cephalopod, but I still feel like we have reached a regretful point in American history where we must set aside a little freedom and begin regulating seashells. Maybe we should require a background check before anyone is allowed to collect conchs. As for Kimmel, he should probably stick to safer comedic territory. Maybe he should try mocking Muslims or doing funny Mohammed impersonations. Or maybe try some seashell jokes. ⚖️ Whew. It’s been a very busy week. Next,…