Loose Threads: The Best Hostess Gifts I Received, a Fun Trick, and a Working Theory on Why No One Eats at These Parties.

I wanted to start today’s newsletter by recognizing the hurt out there right now. The news out of Brown, Bondi, and LA is devastating. I’m trying to look for some light. To look for the helpers, as Mr. Rogers would say, and to hold on to the thing I know to be true: there are more good people in the world than bad. It’s scientifically proven. Still, there is little that eases the pain of losing someone you love to violence in any form, and our heart breaks for those afflicted by this violence. Hard Pivot. Today I’ll talk about some of the best party spreads I’ve seen this season, my theory on why no one eats anything at these NYC holiday shindigs, the best hostess gift I received at my first ever grown up holiday party hosted in my own home, and a tip for keeping the party going (no, it’s not just the gummies). I’ll give my official verdict on caviar and potato chips, tell you where to source a real flocked Christmas tree in the tri-state area, and share who I think is the best makeup artist for hire in the West Village. I’m also going to tell you about the book our new COO Bridgette is insisting we all read, along with a few fun ones I’m packing for a long vacation. Let’s get started. I’m about to embark on a journey to New Zealand with a quick pit stop in Byron Bay, Australia. What should I make sure to see? Drop your comments in the comment section below. The past two weeks have been a plethora of parties. ’Tis the season. Let’s start by highlighting what I believe is a tragedy unfolding on the NYC holiday party circuit, and that is the untouched food spread. While perusing these glorious party spreads, both IRL and virtually on my phone, I (along with some of my IG followers) couldn’t help but notice that no one was touching them. It’s giving very Luis Buñuel “The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie” vibes (the central irony of the surrealist 1972 is that despite the characters being wealthy socialites whose lives revolve around the ritual of dining, they never actually finish a meal.) My theory is that this actually has nothing to do with the GLP-1s. I think the food is just too pretty and no one wants to be that person who ruins it? This is an issue. Beyond the wasted food, it leads directly into my tip for keeping guests at your party: they need sustenance! In all forms. Drinks should be readily available, and food should be easy to access, easy to eat, and not so precious that people are afraid to touch it. That being said, feel free to have a “non-touch” table spread to add to the setting. These were GORGEOUS: Some of my tried and true favorites: bite sized baked potatoes topped with caviar and crème fraîche, messy platters of meats, cheeses, and crackers that are already dug into (do this before guests arrive), and truly bite-sized anything, sweet, savory, or salty. Make it so people can actually pop it into their mouths in one bite! Keep the party going by keeping your guests’ stomachs happy. As for potato chips and caviar, this setup felt really sophisticated and fresh when we did it at our wedding 16 years ago. That may have been because I wasn’t, dare I say, as sophisticated (aged) back then and hadn’t seen it everywhere yet. I’m here to report that every single holiday party save for one served this combo, including us at our own party. I started second guessing whether this tried and true pairing had jumped the shark. I am happy to report that more than one guest, including Shelly Fremont and Kim McCarty, who both know a thing or two about parties, assured me it was not only still chic but still delicious. People love a high low moment, so potato chips and caviar are still very much a thing over here. Glad we cleared that up. As for what to bring your hosts, might I suggest stretching yourself in whatever way you can to hand make something special? Artistic gestures always make the very best gifts. Personalized items come in a close second. Honestly, I love little things of any kind, the wackier the better. It truly is the thought that counts. A couple of nights ago we were sharing an elevator to my friend Meredith Melling and Zach Ischol’s holiday party with an incredibly dapper guest holding a holiday box that looked like it might contain Christmas Cookies. Then it hit me. A very distinct fried chicken smell. It was inescapable. I couldn’t help myself. I had to ask, “Does anyone else smell fried chicken in here?” Sure enough, he was bringing a box full of homemade fried chicken. I had to know who this was. Meet my new friend Lorenzo Hill-White, winner of my favorite party guest of the season! For our tree this year, we were excited to bring back our real flocked tree in bright pink. There’s a nursery in New Jersey that will flock live trees in whatever color you want. They make my husband Sean so happy and remind him of his youth in California, and who am I to take that away? We decorate our tree with ornaments collected over the years and John Derian pom pom garland. Whenever we travel, I’m always on the hunt for new ornaments. Decorating the tree becomes both a tradition and a trip down memory lane. Even my teenage sons still get involved, and I can tell, even if they won’t admit it, that they really enjoy it. (Send me a note if you want the contact for the flocking.) As for what I’m wearing to these parties, there have been two things that have never failed me this season. Both are in stock: The Florence Jacket and the Elton Cardigan. You can throw either over a dress, a skirt, or even just blue jeans and receive a shocking number of compliments. I also had to see what everyone was talking about and ordered some Kallmeyer pants. These are donned “liquid twill” which translates to silky goodness perfection. I have been wearing them non stop. And these Farah classic bootcut pants in cotton denim fit like a glove and are on sale now - lucky you! For not so fancy moments, I wore this short sleeved cardigan in both colors twice this week and had friends literally petting me. The heat has been out on the second floor of the Jane townhouse, which means I have not taken off this Molly robe all week. I love her so much. (p.s. Reminder: today is the last day to order ground shipping in time for the holidays on many websites including ours). I was also very happy to do something I almost never do, which is have my friend Bobbi Brown send over her incredible Jones Road makeup artist and store manager Flo to touch up my makeup. He set up right on my son’s pinball table and managed to make several of my friends look glowier before the party even began. Visit him at the Greenwich Village store. You won’t regret it. For magic at home, I swear by the Miracle Balm. I like Happy Hour and Dusty Rose. It is perfect in every way and will have people telling you all night that you are glowing. That woman Bobbi really understands what women want. As for candles, I surprised Sean with his Christmas gift early so we could use it for the party. It was a collection of artist candle holders purchased at Les Collections. I bought several of their Callas, Flock, Willow, Fiera, and Pomponette candle holders, and black taper candles - which I thought were so chic. Then I placed a dozen of my favorite smelling candles all around the house to make sure it smelled exactly how I wanted it to. Here’s what else I’ve been up to. Last Monday, I was excited to be on the committee for Alexi Meyers’s Coalition Against Trafficking of Women organization and joined a star studded group of fancy people to toast the incredible work she’s doing at Indochine, before bopping over to Chez Nous. Monday nights there are quickly becoming my favorite night of the week, as I wrote last week. Here’s an amazing tip I learned last Monday night for making any old lampshade go from basic to utterly magical for less than the cost of your morning latte: Sean and his partners at Chez Nous, Kevin Thompson and David Kuhn, thought the cream lampshades were a bit too clean, so they went in with pai…