The Sunday Papers

Sundays are, and apologies in advance for the less-fun-than-average intro, for peeling back the layers of the smelly legal onion that is scattering pet ashes in the UK. The government’s Regulatory Position Statement (or RPS – no relation) suggests this is only easily done on property you already own, which makes things tricky for my flat leasehold – if you’re unfamiliar with this term, it’s a bit like what Steam is to games, in that I don’t technically own jack shit. My willingness to sneakily spread Roxy, who I’m more pleased to report went to sleep while blissfully stoned, across a nearby garden has also been sapped by the knowledge that ashes are highly alkaline, and could thus kill weaker plants and grasses. Shame, really. She loved destroying things.