Why do we expect conversations to be awkward?

Small talk. People generally have positive experiences talking to strangers, yet we always expect those experiences to be awkward. What gives? Across three experiments, researchers had people talk with strangers, then tracked how their expectations changed over time. They found that right after a conversation, people were optimistic about future interactions. You might imagine them thinking something like, “Hey, that wasn’t so bad, maybe next time won’t be bad, either.” But that optimism didn’t last. Within a week or two, their expectations about talking with strangers went right back to being pessimistic, as if the positive experience had never happened. This pattern was true for both deep and shallow conversations. Part of the problem, researchers said, was that people remembered the conversations as less positive than they actually felt in the moment. “The mind’s default expectations can reassert themselves quickly,” the researchers concluded. “Creating lasting changes in social beliefs may require more than occasional positive experiences to learn from.” In other words, go ahead...talk to strangers. Working hard or hardly working? The law of least effort states that people generally prefer the path of least resistance. We don’t like to work hard if we don’t have to, right? But how do social pressures influence this behavior? A new study looked into that question. Researchers asked people to repeatedly choose between an easy task and a harder one. When they learned that people before them had consistently picked the harder task, they stepped up and worked harder, too. But the opposite was not true. When people were told that others typically chose the easy route, they didn’t slack off—they put in just as much effort as participants who were told nothing at all. Even when researchers tried to make low effort seem more acceptable or relatable, people still refused to dip below their usual effort level. To put it simply, the idea that people avoid effort whenever possible doesn’t really hold up — at least not according to this study. Natural wonder. What is it about the outdoors that has such a powerful effect on our mood and our minds? Listen to learn more. Rethinking Depression: We tend to see depression as an illness to eliminate, evidence that something has gone wrong in the brain. But what if low mood serves a purpose? Dan Roche’s Story: Dan was born with a cataract that left him mostly blind in one eye. At baseball practice one day, his coach noticed he was losing sight of the ball and helped him adjust. Fifty years later, it’s still a small act of kindness Dan has never forgotten. Don’t forget to send us the story of your unsung hero! Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to myunsunghero@hiddenbrain.org. Our next stops on Hidden Brain’s live tour are just days away! Join Shankar for an evening of science and storytelling in Philadelphia on March 21 or New York City on March 25. He’ll be sharing seven key psychological insights from his first decade hosting the show. And stayed tuned for more tour stops to be announced later this spring! There are three boxes. One contains only apples, one contains only oranges, and one contains both apples and oranges. The boxes have been labeled incorrectly, and no label correctly identifies the contents of its box. You must open just one box and take out one piece of fruit without looking at the contents of the box. By looking at the fruit you’ve picked, how can you label all of the boxes correctly? What can go through glass without breaking it? The answer: Light More evidence for the power of forgiveness. This weekly newsletter is made possible in part by Loom by Atlassian. Unstuck your process, projects, and teams with video communication from Loom. It’s a team changer. Try Loom today at loom.com. Have an idea for Hidden Brain? A story you want to share with us? Send an email to ideas@hiddenbrain.org. Listen to us on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or your favorite podcast platform.